As I write these words, I am doing a full-scale complete scan of my laptop. HOPEFULLY, that will stuck these annoying posts from popping up on my beautiful, virginal blog!
Naturally, THIS MEANS I'LL NEED TO CHANGE EVERY PASSWORD.
EVERY PASSWORD SHALL BE CHANGED, AS I AM THE HALF-MAD WRITER AND NO ONE TOUCHES MY BLOG!
Is that clear?
I hope so.
Anywho, I have...updates on my mind and Figments.
Stepha and Cassandra have left my mind. One by one, all of them are disappearing--the contracts that kept them bound to me, and kept them helping me, became null and void when it became clear I was becoming saner. They are gone now.
I'm losing Nikita tomorrow.
Raphael will be the last to go, and he will leave in a month.
No, two weeks.
I'm ready for this. I'm ready to stop hearing voices, to finally become JUST ME again. I haven't been 'sane' (in the traditional sense) in my living memory. I don't remember a time before them, but soon, all I will know is a time after them. It will be hard to adjust.
After they go, will I be better?
Why are they going?
They're leaving because of Shawn. My life has found stability. I have found happiness. Of course there's frustrations, moments that are hard, and parts of life that cause pain and disappointment. But there's a lot of happiness, too. Of watching AN ENTIRE ANIME in one night (Madoka Magica, all twelve episodes marathon-style). There's good parts and there's finally the ability to love.
Yes, I'm....I'm able to say "I love you" again and mean it completely.
It took me such a long time to say it, but now I finally freaking mean it. I finally feel love again!
Am I better now, because of this? I guess I am. I guess I am finally making huge breakthroughs.
With love eternal,