~~Not Much Better?~~

I wish I had changed.

I wish I had grown.

You know--

I truly thought I had.

I thought I'd gotten better.

I thought I'd been okay!

But I never realized

That I was dying inside.

I thought I'd been alone.

I thought I'd been fine.

I thought I'd been better than this.

Please don't leave me alone!

Please don't

Make me fight alone.

Give me a reason.

Give me a soul.

Let me win, and let me

Prove to you I'm fine.

I'm not much better

Than I was before

But now...

I'm trying, alright?

I'm trying.

Don't let me drown like this!

Don't let me die

Like this!

I earned a better fate

Than to be quietly drowned....

I earned something better....

At least,

I thought I had.

Am I not much better

Than I was before?

Didn't I learn a thing?

Didn't I grow?

Didn't I change?

Right now, I have to ask:

Is there a future for me

Or is it all

A lie?