~~On Handling My Copy of The Asylum For Wayward Victorian Girls~~

THOU MUST:

• Treat it delicately
• Carry it using two hands
• Treat it like your own child
• Take great care to never get it dirty
• Keep your hands clean around it

THOU MUST NOT:

• Open it too widely
• Drop it
• Get it dirty
• Fold down any of the corners
• Leave it open when it is not in use
• Harm it in any way

I suppose you must be wondering why I wrote that. You see, I brought this delightful novel into school. Why? It's non-fiction. And why is it in school? Because I had to choose a non-fiction book to read in class, and so I chose THIS. Naturally, this means that all my friends are going to gaze in blank wonder at its awesome expensiveness....

God, I love this book!